


In Too Deep

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Character Study, Drama, Episode Related, Episode: s06e01 Last Man Standing, Gen, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-08
Updated: 2009-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 10:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13316388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: Set during the last scene of Last Man Standing. Michelle watches the team and has some regrets.





	In Too Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

  
Author's notes: Contains spoilers for 'Last Man Standing'.  


* * *

She watches as first Abby and then Gibbs hugs Ziva.

She sees McGee smiling.

She hears their voices.

She sees how happy they are; happy that they are back together.

For a moment she wishes it could be her.

For a moment she wonders what it would be like to be embraced by Gibbs.

For a moment she regrets what she has done; what she has had to do.

For a moment she wonders if maybe, just maybe, Gibbs has figured it out.

Part of her wants to go back to them. To go to him. To tell him. 

But she can't. 

She's in too deep.

She can't go back now.

She's tied, bound by what she has done. 

She's lied.

She's used.

She'd killed. 

And not in the course of her job; that would be acceptable.

But because she had to.

She tells herself she had to. There was no other choice.

Maybe if she did go to Gibbs, maybe he could help her find a way out.

But she knows not even the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs can help her get out of this one.

The depths to which she has sunk are fathomless.

She has no choice but to go on.

And what does it really matter?

After all none of them really wanted her.

None of them spared her a 'goodbye', a second look.

They won't miss her.

No one will.

She was never part of them.

She was never part of the team.

Gibbs never rated her as lawyer or agent.

But she fooled him.

She fooled all of them.

As she sees them still hugging and laughing her resolve hardens.

The elevator doors close and she opens her cell and reads the message: _Do they suspect?_

With only the smallest hesitation she texts: _No._


End file.
